Food For Thought
by Airily
Summary: #Akatsuki centric# Even villains can have a sweet tooth. *chapter nine: Candy*
1. Dango

**Disclaimer: **Naruto belongs to Masashi Kishimoto. These drabbles, however, are mine.

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**Dango **

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'_Really,'_ reflected Kisame as he twirled the thin stick between his fingers,_'What's so good about dango?'_ What was it about dango that possessed the emotionless Uchiha to order it every time they stopped for more supplies? Every. Single. Time. While it wasn't that often, the amount he ordered was more than compensation. Kisame withheld a grumble as a pale hand rose to signal another serving._'What's wrong with sushi?'_

"Order something else then." Observant as always.

The Mist missing-nin withheld a sigh this time and complied with a snap of his fingers then waited for someone to come. He knew his diet wasn't restricted; he was just defending the magnificent delicacy. "Sushi's delicious." He grumbled, softly but still audible to the other's highly trained ears. Okay, so he was a bit temperamental today, but who could blame him? It'd been so _boring_ lately. The closest they came to a fight was some local grandma accidentally tripping passing customers as she argued over the price of fish.

"Valued customer, what would you like?" The voice was…happy sounding. Chirpy, cheerful and… rising waters, _sincere_. The unexpected change from the usual forced service temporarily poked him from his moping. He looked up to face a smiling waitress, pen and paper at the ready.

But before he could even start his order, his senses pricked up at the presence of another ninja, which soon followed by a pitiful _**thump**_. He didn't need the sight from the corner of his eyes to confirm the truth; the boastful demands of "the best service" and impatient _**thump**_ing against the wooden table were more than enough. After months of battle-withdrawal, all he got was a weak chunin, at most. He didn't even have the standard sparring against Itachi! The Uchiha was too preoccupied with deciphering and creating jutsu without the use of the Sharingan.

Amongst all the commotion to please the pathetic chunin, the waitress before him remained serene and smiling, completely unfazed.

"Sushi," he grinned triangularly teeth at her, "with fresh salmon."

"Our apologies, sir, but we don't serve sushi here." She tapped the pen thoughtfully. "I would recommend the restaurant around the corner, next to the bakery, for sushi."

Once again Kisame was interrupted by the increasingly annoying ninja, this time demanding for the plate of dango that was coming towards their table…Itachi's. The man in question looked unruffled, but Kisame knew better than to judge by appearances. The chunin was starting another vocal round, or continuing it didn't matter, of protests that he deserved better and whatnot. Wordlessly, their waitress clicked her pen closed, walked over and seized the plate of dangos from the wavering waiter. The other ninja grinned smugly, finally ceasing his rant. But instead of delivering the dangos to the other side, she returned and placed it in front of Itachi. Clicking her pen open, she smiled at Kisame, "What would you like instead?"

A kunai flew towards the waitress' notepad but was intercepted by a thin, still sticky stick. Itachi was chewing another dango and Kisame smirked, "Dango's fine."

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Thank you for reading. 

Feel free to comment or place any suggestions. Feedback is greatly appreciated!


	2. Caramel Apple

**Disclaimer: **Naruto belongs to Masashi Kishimoto. These drabbles, however, are mine.

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**Caramel Apple **

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"Tobi is a good boy…good boy, good boy!"

The annoyingly cheerful, dare he call it, _singing_ of Tobi's carried towards Deidara's once peaceful workplace. Well…peaceful is defined when Deidara is content. And he is ever only satisfied when there's an explosion of some sort.

"Shut _up_, un" The artist had long ago mastered the useful art of _not_ slapping his face, at least not physically, from the sheer frustration the new member emitted.

The noise temporarily ceased but even with the absurd orange mask, one would imagine Tobi's bottom lip was quivering as it pouted. Temporarily, since he refused to worship Jashin which more often then not, would result with Hidan's frivolous cursing.

"But Tobi got you_these_," the masked ninja thrust a handful of sticky…something in Deidara's face, "Because Tobi is a good boy and _sharing_ is _caring_." He probably beamed, not that much could be seen with the mask and not that the artist really cared.

"And what…are these, hmm?" Deidara's reply was deadpanned, looking exactly how he felt: disinterested and increasingly frustrated.

"Caramel APPLES!"

"…"

Tobi made full use of the silence to parade around his sempai, proudly holding up the sugary delight.

"Ca-ra-mel…un?" Perhaps…perhaps Deidara heard wrong…

"Caramel apples! It tastes very, very yummy. Tobi really liked it but remembered to bring some back to share. Isn't Tobi a good boy?"

Tobi continued rambling, he always did, but the blonde artist's focus had stopped at the word 'tastes'. Finally pulling himself together, he flung a half-made clay bird at the dancing target. It had developed enough of its wings to steer and _**ka-boom**_

"Don't you know what caramel is made up of, un? No, don't answer that, it's sugar! SUGAR, SUGAR, SUGAR! Hmm." He threw another clay bird towards the area of smoke for good measure and stomped off to summon clay transportation. The idiotic excuse of a ninja could catch up on foot. Tobi was too enthusiastic as it was and Deidara wasn't going to hang around a sugar-hyped-up version. He shuddered at the thought.

As the giant clay creation and its master disappeared off into the distance, no one was there to notice when a dark figure lazily stepped out from all the smoke and casually drop the sticky-globs.

No one noticed because that was the intention.

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_'An apple a day keeps the doctor away.'_ **:P**

Once again, thanks for reading. Feedback is appreciated! Feel free to drop in any suggestions for future drabbles.


	3. Natural Food

**Disclaimer: **Naruto belongs to Masashi Kishimoto. These drabbles, however, are mine.

**Warnings: **The following content is rated T. It will contain cannibalism and minor sexual references.

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**Natural food**

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Akatsuki members were well-known, if they were known at all, to travel in pairs. It was a strategic decision and beneficial to all parties. There would always be someone there; whether it's for a second opinion and body on missions, a traveling partner, or just someone to keep the other from straying from Leader's orders. It was a proven method.

But like all rules, there were exceptions and he was the exception; Zetsu. Though considering who he was…one could argue that he followed that rule just fine.

Enclosed in the safety of his outer layer, he was one body, one ninja. Beyond the sharp leafy casing surrounding his head, should anyone be brave or stupid enough to venture, were two identities; his dark and light sides. Symmetrical features but different colouring and personalities poles apart. Conversation partner wherever he went, one with a reliable (personally) opinion on all matters.

Thus Zetsu rarely experienced a need for another acquaintance.

Rarely, since he could easily obtain an acquaintance. And by acquaintance, he meant breakfast, lunch, dinner or a snack. Often no effort was needed; it was one of perks of being a ninja.

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Contrary to common belief, the 'Big, Carnivorous Antagonist' doesn't always go after sweet, virgin maidens.

Firstly, Zetsu has highly developed taste buds. As a spy, he must observe and gather accurate information. He can do this from watching, camouflaged in the surrounding environment; he does this very well. His preferred method, however, comes from dissecting the diminutive clues from the target's body…right down to the flesh and bones. _"Waste nothing."_ And from his very experienced appetite; blood wouldn't critically be described as 'sweet'.

Secondly, it's not like there's a flashing sign above anyone's heads to declare their sexual status. Zetsu is a resilient ninja; his body can easily overpower any sexually transmitted disease anyway.

Thirdly, due to his dedication as a ninja, he hasn't met a woman who he would label as a 'maiden'. The term is too…loosely, girly, just dead, dead wrong. It's confusing to explain, especially because his halves don't quite agree and well, he's met Anko Mitarashi.

That's got to count for something.

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Found this one didn't flow quite so well...and couldn't really decide whether to post it as one or two drabbles. So, considering its content, or lack of, this chapter is almost a 2-for-1 deal. **:P**

Hey, thanks for reading. Feel free to drop in any suggestions for future drabbles.

(I've added a poll to take votes on which Akatsuki member(s) you would like to read (more) on in my profile, or you could also comment in reviews. If not, I'll just add chapters based on available ideas.)


	4. Chocolate

**Disclaimer: **Naruto belongs to Masashi Kishimoto. These drabbles are mine, but part of the inspiration comes from the _lovely_ **contributors** (reviews, polls, notes etc...) Thanks. ;)

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**Chocolate**

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0OoO0_**  
**_

_**Knock, knock. **_

"The meeting will start in two hours, Pain."

"Uh-huh." A flip of a page.

"_Two hours_."

"Uh-huh." Scribbling.

"…With the Akatsuki. As 'Leader', isn't it your responsibility to manage and oversee all activities?"

"And as 'second-in-command', Konan, isn't it your job? I just oversee." Shuffling paper.

A particular sheet sharpened and flew, zipping upwards, dangerously close to the vulnerable underside of his throat. The shuffling continued just as calmly.

"'Let's not beat around the bush', as the saying goes. So, what is this about, really?"

"You're supposed to oversee everything!" The remaining paper not in the hands of the Leader stood up, sleek and stiff.

"'Oversee', yes. 'Supposed to', yes. Kakuzu, again?"

"_Yes_!" Slips of innocent paper turned deadly in their dancing. Fluttering and flickering around in a display of Konan's frustration.

"Do elaborate." Pain rested his chin on one hand. The threatening paper had already been disabled with a minor water jutsu.

"He's…he's…That_ thief_ stole my _chocolate_!"

"I see." No thoughts were betrayed on the ninja's neutral expression. "I will talk to Kakuzu and remind him of our main priority."

Konan sniffed, still frustrated but now a little smug. "Good. I'll be back later to inform you of the meeting, Pain."

She turned around to leave just as something was thrown in her direction. The hidden paper in the folds of her cloak caught the offending—no, no, no,_**chocolate**_ is _heaven_. All thought process stopped at the beautiful sight of wrapped pleasure. She almost missed Pain's next comment.

"Am I correct to infer that it's your time of the month?"

Konan didn't acknowledge that with an answer and teleported away, leaving sharpened paper embedded in a circle around Pain as a warning.

He only chuckled and extracted a bar of chocolate from a hidden drawer…also filled with the sweet treats.

oO0Oo

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Sooo...who _really_ did the deed? **:P**

I would like to say, if it isn't already assumed, that I meant no offence to those who have experienced their cycles. (Makes me wonder what gender you think I am...heh.)

I tried a slightly different style for this drabble. Hope the person who requested it likes it, **greenteamoose** (for the wonderful support), **Thornroses** (for the fav) and every other reader!

But anyway, any form of feedback helps and is appreciated. So thank you!!

(Suppose I should mention, even though it isn't important...I don't follow American spelling, but Australian.)

Probably my longest author note, but I'm feeling giddy today! Chocolate! **:D**


	5. Cuisine

**Disclaimer: **Naruto belongs to Masashi Kishimoto. 

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**Cuisine**

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0OoO0

Orochimaru prides himself in his extensive knowledge. His ambition to master all possible jutsu has made him a well-traveled ninja, but has also caused many to forget that he's still a man. As a male human being, he has needs too…

…Food. 

Due to the lack of sensitivity on the common person's tongue and their ignorance of fine cuisine, many miss the delicate flavours, but not Orochimaru. As everyone would know, he has a long tongue…very long. So having more taste buds along with a careful, perfectionist nature means that extremely few things escape his notice. Among the numerous eateries he's stopped at, there is one particular restaurant that the Snake Sannin favours for their adequate service and interesting dishes. 

So, what are his favourite dishes? Frog legs and snails. 

Oh yes, he enjoys them_ very_ much…everything about it…the whole **_process_ **of eating. It's highly _satisfying_;the twisting of the limp legs to the stabbing of the slippery lump of flesh. Mmmm… he never tires of these dishes, simply due to their variety of flavours and, well, just for being frog legs and snails. 

But sometimes, which is rarely and not that Orochimaru would ever admit, but sometimes…it's a little nostalgic. The yellow eyes would lose their sharpness as he stares at everything but focuses on nothing, the usual smirk would tilt downwards, his body loses their alertness and his hand hangs limp with the cutlery. Orochimaru isn't one to dwell on 'what ifs' and regrets; he has no time for that, but it doesn't mean that he doesn't sometime question about his newest body and that strange twinge somewhere in the chest area. 

But Orochimaru, infamous Snake Sannin, has a reputation to uphold and goals to meet, so he ends his meals swiftly and continues with the schedule.

oO0Oo

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An Orochimaru request. Have to say, this one was difficult to write. Firstly, Orochimaru has a long tongue...but I didn't want the story to be _suggestive_. Secondly, have you seen a picture of him when he was a little boy? It really makes you wonder how he turned out the way he did. It's easy to pin him as the 'bad guy' (especially considering everything he's done), but he wasn't always.

Since this Orochimaru is still a member of the Akatsuki and the timeline isn't exactly clear...I made use of that and the end result was this. 

Please feel free to comment otherwise, preferably with reasons to back it up, or simply to drop a thought or request. 

Thanks. 


	6. Gobstoppers

**Disclaimer: **Naruto belongs to Masashi Kishimoto.

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**Gobstoppers**

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0OoO0

Deidara was an artist. As an artist he felt a need to produce art.

Deidara wasn't _just_ an artist; he was an expressive, active one.

'Buuut…' Deidara glared to his left, 'A _few_ certain _individuals_ don't appreciate my art. Hmm.' His sight returned to his little project at hand; molding and remodeling various creatures of destruction. Just as quickly, his focus was back on the seemingly unmoving puppeteer. What _was_ that unappreciative partner of his doing…?

His curiousity had been perked ever since their last battle; when Sasori just…_lingered_ beside a slightly fried ninja before swiftly pocketing something. It couldn't have been related to their mission or anything remotely important because then Deidara would've been, at least, told about it. Sasori may be slow with it comes to art, but he was a reliable partner. It had been hours since they located reasonable shelter too…

"What are you doing, un?"

"It's none of your business." The reply was immediate and toneless, as usual. None of his business, eh? Key word here is 'business' and by 'business' it means relating to Akatsuki. Interesting, interesting… It would also imply that although it was none of his business…it didn't mean it wouldn't be of his interest… Deidara was a blonde only in the physical sense.

Casually, he plucked a minuscule portion of clay from his unfinished bird. Twisting and twirling a few features, coupled with a few licks, he had a realistic-sized fly while his other hand continued its work with the original piece of clay. He allowed an unnoticeable dribble of chakra to slither in and activate the fly. The Explosion Master restrained a maniac grin; you never know when Sasori decided to add eyes on the back of his head.

Just as laid-back as before, the fly was nudged away in the general direction of the entrance of their shelter before it fluttered and weaved its way towards the puppeteer…

…Then a swift replacement jutsu. For all its stealth, the plan was ruined when Deidara made a lunge for Sasori. Then, of course, it was countered. Deidara's hold on his other flying bird was the only reason he wasn't smacked into a tree.

Deciding to fulfill his duty as sempai, Sasori enlightened the blonde, "You are too dramatic and spontaneous. For one thin--"

"Aright! Just…just tell me; what did you take from that ninja, hmm?" Sasori raised an eyebrow, further fuelling Deidara's curiousity and frustration. And with no hesitation, just slower-than-snail-speed, the current puppet's hand opened to reveal…

"It's a gobstopper, un." The blonde was momentarily shocked still. He was expecting something a little…_more_.

"Yes."

But he quickly recovered, snatched the candy and plopped it into the mouth on his right palm. While it was happily munching the candy, Deidara rambled on about how gobstoppers first introduced him his artistic inspiration and more importantly, how 'art was a bang'.

Sasori was watching _quite_ intently.

Deidara, a ninja after all, noticed and naturally grew wary. The chewing mouth suddenly stopped and began violently hacking. It didn't help Deidara's composure when his both his other mouths followed suit.

"Hmm…so it works for different variations of saliva too." Seeing Deidara's pitiful glare, Sasori continued, "Chakra exists naturally in the body, though it tends to concentrate around areas with larger body mass and usage. In cases where the ninja relies on specific parts of their body, such as you with your mouths, they would be at a disadvantage if their outlets become disabled. Hmm…it seems the theory and my poison works well in practice too."

The twitching of the one visible eye, something commonly associated with 'So-I'm-your-lab-rat-AGAIN?' compelled Sasori to answer. "Well, it's not like I have my own proper body. I also didn't force it on you. This is only the diluted version, so your inconvenience should end in a few hours." Sasori turned back to continue his notes, but couldn't help adding, "See? Time is the essence of art." Deidara could only cough in response.

oO0Oo

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Technically...this was in response to a Sasori challenge, but he doesn't eat and I like writing Deidara.

Hope it satisfies! Though I do apologise that Sasori didn't receive as much limelight... 

(_Psst!_ There's a poll in my profile or drop a review to provide suggestions for more drabbles.)

Thanks, 'til the next update.


	7. Coffee

**Disclaimer: **Naruto belongs to Masashi Kishimoto.

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**Coffee  
**

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0OoO0

Attainable

When one is a missing-nin and especially if one was partnered with a certain Jashin-obsessed immortal, convenience is always a luxury. In every village, town or the backpacks of unfortunate travelers; ninjas and civilians alike, Kakuzu easily manages to pry out at least a cup worth of coffee.

...

Inexpensive

The **cheap** price of coffee brightens Kakuzu's mood whenever he has the chance to savour the drink; all it takes is either a casual slip of the hand or a breath of chakra…No one is spared.

Silly, unfocused Hidan…he _still_ hasn't realised.

...

Stimulant

Kakuzu _loooves_ money.

Everything about money; from the mere sight of it, its smell, weight…_uses_ of it. Kakuzu even has a fixation with counting money. And coffee…brilliant, magnificent coffee…provides him extra stimulants to count day and night.

...

Addictive

The addictive property of caffeine does influence Kakuzu's loyalty to it. …Just a little.

But on the other hand, he's not the only one affected. Many bounty hunts were made easier when the prey were coffee-addicts themselves. Not coffee's faults, not at all. It's all due to a very simple mistake on the victims' behalf…

See, they made coffee to drink. Outside. They also did nothing to conceal the smell. In the middle of a forest, the strong fragrance of coffee would definitely indicate the presence of a traveler.

...

Taste

There are numerous brands and types of coffee beans.

There are plentiful ways to make a cup of coffee.

If all else fails, adding sugar helps for Kakuzu.

But coffee is a drink.

Kakuzu prefers chocolate but he's a cheap bastard. Why couldn't Konan be more unaware like Hidan?...And why does Leader smirk at him like that?

oO0Oo

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Thank you for reading!

Also, thanks to the voters! I will get round to finishing them (not all that surprised with the outcome), but like I've mentioned before (somewhere) it really depends on the inspiration. I'm not making up excuses...but my current workload _is _flattening what budding little ideas that manage to find me. This was thought up during a moment of boredom and sleepiness, then edited.

Have a nice day.

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	8. Durian

**Disclaimer: **Naruto belongs to Masashi Kishimoto.

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**Durian  
**

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0OoO0

Hidan is an immortal and has existed many lifetimes. During which he's been too occupied with Jashin's demands to bother about trivial matters like food.

Although he doesn't eat, Hidan does have a partiality for this one fruit…

Durian

'Stinks like hell, tastes like heaven.' Apparently.

But Hidan cares only for its outside appearance.

It's…odd looking. It's hard. It's spiky. It's very throw-able. And it hurts.

…Making it very entertaining. Hidan is known to hurl himself onto a table of durians belonging to an unsuspecting merchant.

It's not as painful as you'd think (since the body mass spreads across the many fruit) but definitely hilarious to watch the surrounding turmoil.

It's enlightening. Who knew that harmless fruit sellers could have such interesting vocabulary?

...

Actually, Hidan's experiencing that educational lecture right now. His hair isn't so nicely gelled anymore, but at the moment it doesn't matter. Hidan smirks at the balding man and raises an eyebrow at the slashing knife. In the corner of the immortal's eyes, he sees Kakuzu taking full advantage of the commotion. "Like a f-cking slippery fish." Pause. "Heh, wait 'til f-cking Kisame hears that."

When Kakuzu looks like he's relatively satisfied ('cause he never is when it comes to money), Hidan gets up with arrogant poise, purposely encouraging any fruit spikes to pierce him. He gives the old man the finger salute and teleports away with a couple of durians in one arm, his favourite scythe in the other and a chocolate bar in his pocket.

Jashin should be fairly pleased.

oO0Oo

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Blatantly admitting: I had trouble with this and still not sure if I'm satisfied with it. Like most things, they start off so much better in your mind.

But thought I should update something now, since Mother's Day, birthdays and assignments are due very soon...

Thank you for reading this far. Next up will be from the votes.


	9. Candy

**Disclaimer: **Naruto belongs to Masashi Kishimoto.

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**Candy**

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0OoO0

Zetsu and Tobi's companionship didn't start out mutually; it was something that progressed through time.

The first time they met face to face, Zetsu was planning to eat Tobi. Tobi, in a moment of brilliance, escaped that fate by directing both of Zetsu's halves towards an easy, larger meal. The body was indeed larger and belonging to a ninja, although probably half a day dead by the smell alone...but Zetsu didn't mind; time added flavour in some cases.

For some reason, it appeared that the unusual, spiky-haired male would often cross paths with the missing-nin. During that time, Tobi (who was yet to be named) would always have his face covered and nearly bawled out when Zetsu's darker half asked about it, albeit a bit rudely. Meetings passed with dead bodies and Tobi's enthusiasm, Zetsu eventually accepted the trailing ninja and named him Tobi.

They traveled well together. Zetsu did all the 'work' and Tobi scavenged rations. Zetsu directed and Tobi complied. Buying supplies, more for Tobi's benefit than actually being needed by Zetsu, was very easy. No transformations required...no one took Tobi seriously anyway. That was alright, it equaled a very happy, bouncing ninja filled with sweets.

...

As for the introduction of the mask...

"_Tobi, what are you doing?"_

"Tobi is making a proper mask, that way no one has to see a scary face."

"**With scraps?"**

"_With candy wrappers?"_

"...Tobi's pant pockets were getting full. A good ninja doesn't leave any trails so Tobi thought of this."

"**All that candy. _All _that candy? Already?" Shocked. **

_Sigh. "...Good thinking Tobi, good boy."_

oO0Oo

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Well...the wrappers had to go somewhere...

For the Tobi votes!

Thank you all for reading, greatly appreciated.

...

(Though this was started before the previous chapter, I've only recently finished it. Hope this is an improvement on my last one.)


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